Wow. A Patrol that you’d actually look twice at…

Indeed, this one sure stands out from the regular model but before I got in and took off, it was parked next to one of those Urvans and it absolutely dwarfed it. I know the Patrol is big but that really put it into perspective. In spite of its proportions, they tend to blend in to the crowd but Nissan has rectified that with this Nismo edition. This one sticks out like you won’t believe. Other motorists see you coming from miles away in their rear view and move aside immediately. Now, I’m not for a second saying that this is fun, but, well, it sort of is…

Bully.

Well, they shouldn’t be doing 60kph in the overtaking lane! Sometimes it’s good to have a car that scares the pants off drivers like these, and at first sight, this Patrol Nismo sure is scary. Look at that aggressive body kit. I have to say I like it, a lot. I have seen photos of it finished in white and that’s such a waste. They should all come painted black, like ours. I like the redesigned bumpers and the new side skirts which set it apart from the regular Patrol. Look how menacing it is. Look at the red trim. Look at those massive wheels. Are you looking?

Yes.

Then why aren’t you saying anything?

You drove it, you tell us something about it…

Oh, so that’s how it works. Well, it’s been developed specifically for us here in the Middle East because, well, let’s face – we love our massive SUVs here – but to think this one has been done by the same chaps who gave is the awesome GT-R Nismo is amazing. And come to think of it, this beefy Patrol is pretty amazing too. But it isn’t as powerful as the GT-R if you were thinking that…

Er, I wasn’t…

Of course you weren’t. Anyway, just to clear up any confusion which you might have, it doesn’t have a twin-turbo, 3.8-litre V6 that the all-wheel drive supercar has. That isn’t to say this one doesn’t have loads of power to be proud of…

How much power are we talking?

Well, that 5.6-litre V8 has been poked and prodded to produce a very healthy 428 horses.

That’s just 28 horses more than the standard model makes…

Yes, and although it isn’t spectacular in terms of performance, it does handle better thanks to a set of Bilstein shocks in all four corners and it has a sport-tuned power steering. It definitely doesn’t feel as floaty as the regular model. This is worthy of being called the race-inspired version of Nissan’s legendary SUV.